Jared J. H. CatapanoDestroying the Ego?
February 20th 2008 23:44
I'm heading towards the mythical number 30 in terms of age, and while it doesn't bother me terribly, it is a good chance to acknowledge the psychological baggage and gives you a deadline to change whatever it is you want to change.
Some may argue that ANY time is a good time for this, and I whole-heartedly agree. But who does? People always want reminders, people work well to dead lines and a bit of applied pressure brings about qualities most people don't think they have.
Although 30 is still a pretty darn small number in age, tell that to the person turning 30.
When I was in my teens, I could barely comprehend what it would be like to be 25. Then when I was 25 I had kind of accepted that I was going to turn 30 in 5 years.
For a long while I was keen to get famous and die by 27 to join that iconic club, but it didn't happen. Maybe I wasn't doing the right drugs. Maybe I wasn't hanging out with the right people. Regardless, I am here at 29.
Like 99% of people out there, I am a slave to my desires, my emotions. Freud called this the ID (inner desire), the EGO (I, Me), and the SUPER-EGO (conscience). We are all composed of these little bits of our brains that contraol basically everything we do.
Babies are ruled by the ID, the body wants to expell effluent, it does. It's hungry, it cries util it gets fed, it's sleepy, it sleeps. And so on.
But looking around, more people than just babies are ruled by thier ID's, myself included. Obese people eat themselves silly, smokers smoke, drinkers drink, angry people are angy towards others.
Of course this can be seen as a mix between the ID and the Ego. Drinkers drink because the Ego knows it makes them feel good around their friends, or tkaes their minds off thier depressing lives. Same with food, smoking etc. Sure, not a lot of people walk around in adult diapers crapping themselves whenever they feel like it, but how much longer till they do? Haha.
I myself, like all people to a greater and lesser degree, am still a mixture of all 3. I haven't left my inner desires behind (Hell no! I have delivered more kisses to my bong than any human being), my sence of self is in a constant state of dissolving (again, usually through drug use), and reinforcing itself agasint anything that attempts to disrupt it's routine, such as being sober and open to sober-stated reality, going out of the house for anything other than food, work and cigarettes, and talking to people about things going on in my head instead of vomiting up whatever I have read during the day.
My Super-Ego is still very present, and I think, has joined foces with my Ego because my ID plays such a big part in my daily life.
Not a day goes by without endless conversations in my head between my Ego and Super-Ego, that is, until I get my hands on some mind-altering substances. Not just illegal ones, but also caffine, nicotene, sugar, internet, computer games, whatever man.
I may lock away my ego through drug use and sober-routines, but it's still there, it's ganged up with my Super-Ego, and they both have been getting louder throughout the years.
'Stop smoking your life away!'
'Start talking to your friends. REALLY talking.'
'Stop escaping so much, you're like the Houdini of mind-escape!'
'Start writing more, reading more, relating more, that's what me and the Ego are here for man!'
Sure, I hear them, but as far as I'm concerned, I haven't started listening yet.
What are we waiting for? Why aren't we all the best we can be? Why do we let things get us down when they have no reason to?
When do we stop listening to the world around us and start listening to the universe within us?
Destroy the ID! Destroy the EGO! Destroy the SUPER-EGO!
Like the Spartans via Frank Miller say in the face of overwhelming odds;
'Give them nothing, take from them, everything!'
Become something new!
I'm hoping going to use my 30th birthday as a springboard towards a new level of consciousness, but it's going to take some hard work yo, especially in a world so catering to the ID, the EGO and the SUPER-EGO.
Or Freud could have been full of s**t when it comes to all that crap and we don't have problems at all, just the ones we think we have.
Ok, psychobabble over....
Some may argue that ANY time is a good time for this, and I whole-heartedly agree. But who does? People always want reminders, people work well to dead lines and a bit of applied pressure brings about qualities most people don't think they have.
Although 30 is still a pretty darn small number in age, tell that to the person turning 30.
When I was in my teens, I could barely comprehend what it would be like to be 25. Then when I was 25 I had kind of accepted that I was going to turn 30 in 5 years.
Like 99% of people out there, I am a slave to my desires, my emotions. Freud called this the ID (inner desire), the EGO (I, Me), and the SUPER-EGO (conscience). We are all composed of these little bits of our brains that contraol basically everything we do.
Babies are ruled by the ID, the body wants to expell effluent, it does. It's hungry, it cries util it gets fed, it's sleepy, it sleeps. And so on.
But looking around, more people than just babies are ruled by thier ID's, myself included. Obese people eat themselves silly, smokers smoke, drinkers drink, angry people are angy towards others.
Of course this can be seen as a mix between the ID and the Ego. Drinkers drink because the Ego knows it makes them feel good around their friends, or tkaes their minds off thier depressing lives. Same with food, smoking etc. Sure, not a lot of people walk around in adult diapers crapping themselves whenever they feel like it, but how much longer till they do? Haha.
My Super-Ego is still very present, and I think, has joined foces with my Ego because my ID plays such a big part in my daily life.
Not a day goes by without endless conversations in my head between my Ego and Super-Ego, that is, until I get my hands on some mind-altering substances. Not just illegal ones, but also caffine, nicotene, sugar, internet, computer games, whatever man.
I may lock away my ego through drug use and sober-routines, but it's still there, it's ganged up with my Super-Ego, and they both have been getting louder throughout the years.
'Stop smoking your life away!'
'Start talking to your friends. REALLY talking.'
'Stop escaping so much, you're like the Houdini of mind-escape!'
'Start writing more, reading more, relating more, that's what me and the Ego are here for man!'
Sure, I hear them, but as far as I'm concerned, I haven't started listening yet.
What are we waiting for? Why aren't we all the best we can be? Why do we let things get us down when they have no reason to?
When do we stop listening to the world around us and start listening to the universe within us?
Destroy the ID! Destroy the EGO! Destroy the SUPER-EGO!
Like the Spartans via Frank Miller say in the face of overwhelming odds;
'Give them nothing, take from them, everything!'
Become something new!
I'm hoping going to use my 30th birthday as a springboard towards a new level of consciousness, but it's going to take some hard work yo, especially in a world so catering to the ID, the EGO and the SUPER-EGO.
Or Freud could have been full of s**t when it comes to all that crap and we don't have problems at all, just the ones we think we have.
Ok, psychobabble over....
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